Amazing Insights into Happiness - Top 5 Regrets People Have As They Are About to Die

A palliative-care nurse shared very thought-provoking insights from her life's work of caring for patients who were about to die. Scary to think that almost everyone regrets working so much....it definitely provokes self-reflection.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

The overall theme here definitely seems to be authenticity. What a powerful sentiment! So many of us spend our entire lives subconsciously (or consciously) trying to conform to societal expectations of how we should look, what kind of work we should do, and certain standards of living we should strive for.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

That is why these nuggets of wisdom are so powerful; for those near death, the societal constraints they have been subjugated under are laid bare, and core principles come through. Prioritize family, friends, and a positive outlook. Of course work is important (and in many cases quite meaningful), but it needs to be correctly contextualized within the overall framework of your life.

Hip Impingement: Femoral Acetabular Impingement Musings (Compartment Syndrome as well as FAI)

I still can't believe I started writing here about seven years ago, crazy! No one knew who Lavar Ball was...simpler times.

As I've become further removed from both the bilateral fasciotomy (March 2011) and the left hip osteotomy/labral repair for FAI (February 2013, Cam Impingement), I've sometimes wondered about the nature of their relationship, and if certain aspects of my athletics training could have prevented the invasive procedures I chose to undergo.

My musings pretty much begin and end with....the hip hinge movement. I will go into detail in a later post, but just to start those of you off who came here with either chronic exertional compartment syndrome or FAI, here is a link explaining the importance of the hip hinge - .

Until next time, but glad to report that seven years later I am physically the healthiest condition I have ever been in (although a sprained ankle playing basketball has revealed itself to be an avulsion fracture of my navicular bone in my foot...I will get to that at some point!)

In the meantime, feel free to ask any questions about compartment syndrome or FAI surgeries and recovery times, as well as anything else that may be on your mind.

Much love!
John

She has the right idea (although too much arch in her back - we want to avoid lumbar extensions in this movement)

5 Years Later(!)

Might as well give a little update - The compartment syndrome symptoms have never returned.  While I had some other issues further up with the hip, it never seemed to be related to the fasciotomy, but rather to congenital anatomy that just isn't so great (if interested, feel free to look up femoral acetabular impingement ;).

You might have trouble with the split if you have FAI!

The only thing I notice is a slight weakness in left calf stability - If I enter a contest on who can stand on their left foot the longest, I will probably lose.  It doesn't really affect day to day functionality though.  

My advice is still the same as it was - If the issues are really localized to the calf and you test positive for compartment syndrome, get an experienced surgeon and do the fasciotomy.

However, surgery is still surgery.  Be diligent about ruling out confounding factors before going under the knife. Get second opinions.  Always get second opinions.